Zalmux
In recognition of your hard work, we’re going to award you some stock options Chang.
Chang
Chicken please.
Zalmux
What?
Chang
Oh, is chicken not one of the options?
Zalmux
I feel like I don’t get enough recognition for my work around here.
Chang
Congratulations, you pooped.
Zalmux
I’m serious Chang.
Chang
You’re also sitting on a toilet.
Zalmux
It’s high time we storm that military base and see them aliens!
Chang
Yes, I hear they are in need of sacrificial meats.
Zalmux
Ugh, mornings. I’m so tired.
Chang
Ah, is it because you haven’t slain a pig yet?
Zalmux
Come again?
Chang
Pig Slaying: A healthy and refreshing way to start your day!
Chang
I hope to one day live in a nation where children are not judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their burritos.
Zalmux
How do you like them apples?
Chang
I prefer bananas.
Zalmux
I hate Mondays.
Chang
Ask not what you think of Monday but what Monday thinks of you.
Zalmux
Thanks Chang. Now I’m filled with existential dread.
Chang
Don’t thank me. Thank Monday.
Zalmux
This is a very progressive workplace. We are diverse and inclusive and woke and maybe also lit.
Chang
I would like a raise please.
Zalmux
Get out.
Zalmux
Sniffle. Who’s chopping onions in here?
Chang
No one. We are being tear-gassed by the police.
Chang
Everything that can happen will happen, has already happened.
Zalmux
What did you do?
Chang
Nothing, the poop was there when I got here.